Feelings:Confused, Scared, Angry, Sad
What I was doing: Mondo and were not married yet but I was 6 months pregnant, and it was his day off. This was when he worked as an FSA (Fire Suppression Aid) in the LA County Fire Camps. He would start the Fire Academy in just 6 months. I woke up early and turned on the TV and saw the news (as I am sure most of us started our day this way). I ran in to wake him up and come watch with me...We were both scared. Scared for our country, and our future. What will this lead to?
The following nights for weeks we would sleep in the living room for weeks and have the TV on 24/7. As we continued to feel so much sadness the anger then set in hard.
All the while I as a first time mother to be I would cry in the shower and worry so much about the families of those that were still uncalled for. The kids that just lost a parent. A parent that just lost one of there children. a lover, a friend, someone they had just met or made eye contact with and never got to meet. The most heartbreaking at the moment that hit close to home were the pregnant woman who's children would never see or meet there daddy, it all was so much. I almost felt guilty for having my soon to be husband there with me while all these other woman were suffering.I wanted to just trade there places and take there pain away I couldn't help but be so upset.
September 11, 2013
Feelings: Guilty, Sad, Proud
Today as I am married to a Firefighter who has risked his life on many occasions. I steel feel guilty. Guilty that I am here and all those families yeah they are living there life just like me but I know today just is a knife to an open wound for many. I feel sad still for all those parents, families, friends, coworkers.
The pride in all those who risked and lost there lives that day and continued to after by serving in the military, by volunteering. So so many! My anger was taken away with that feeling of Pride I have in all the men and woman who I don't know and never will know but I know what they were/are fighting for. And the Pride in all those first responders that day. Amazing people helping whether it is there job or not that day and forevermore there hearts were what put them into overdrive that day and the days after, not because it was there job.
We have all been affected somehow and we all hurt. I just wanted to share where my heart is today.
I would love to hear where you were then and now as well...
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