Breath of fresh air... Or not...

Decided to seperate myself from the kids and sit out in the back yard get some good reading in and get some sun on my white legs. 

Looks like a nice getaway right? Yeah it was for like 10 minutes. I enjoyed reading   10 pages all whole listening to the air conditioner run in the background as a white noise. Breathe in breathe out. Just as I start to feel like hey I can get used to this Brody comes out. Quietly he sits next to me then stands up and breaks the fire pit and sits back down. Ok it is ok I breathe, he gets quiet. All good, then you hear the noise inside. I thought Caleb and Nicky were playing a nice game of Monopoly till you hear "your stupid!" Brody goes in to try and handle it. Thank you Brody. And ok back to reading till this guys pops out....

"Mom? Can you tell Nick to stop!?" 

23 Q & A with the Boys....

So on Facebook a friend of mine posted a Question and Answer with her kids.. So I decided I would with mine...well hers was hilarious! Mine not so much, but still got a kick out of asking the boys and hearing there responses....Thought I would share and keep this logged as well as my answers about each of them....

BRODY Age 6
CALEB Age 9
JACOB Age 12
NICHOLAS Age 13
MOM Age 36

1. What is something mom always says to you?

BRODY: Goodnight

CALEB:I Love You

JACOB: Take the trash out

NICHOLAS: Go to your room; cut out your attitude

SOMETHING YOUR KID ALWAYS SAYS TO YOU?

Brody:  Sho (sure)

Caleb; I love you

Jacob: Did you see my video

Nicky: Can I buy.....

2. What makes mom happy?

BRODY: When everybody is very nice to each other

CALEB: Doing stuff by myself

JACOB: When someone makes her laugh

NICHOLAS: when she see our smiley faces

MOM: WHAT MAKES MY KIDS HAPPY?

Brody: Playing with his friends

Caleb: Just smiling at him 

Jacob: When people watch his hockey videos

Nicholas: Playing hockey, and cute girls

3. What makes mom sad? 

BRODY: Everybody's being mean and fighting with each other

CALEB: When I am not there

JACOB: When someone doesn't do what she says

NICHOLAS: When she thinks about her mom 

MOM: WHAT MAKES MY KIDS SAD?

Brody: Taking showers

Caleb: Losing on video games

Jacob: When he feels Nicholas is picking on him

Nicky: When he sees or hears about his brothers being picked on

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

BRODY: By doing weird stuff or staring at me

CALEB: By smiling at me

JACOB: Says something funny

NICHOLAS: When she says words wrong

MOM: HOW DO YOUR KIDS MAKE YOU LAUGH?

Brody: Brody being the goofball he is

Caleb: When he laughs

Jacob: His Makeup Tutorials

Nicky: His weird faces

5. What was your mom like as a child? 

BRODY: Like a chubby kid

CALEB: Ummm.... she was like normal

JACOB: Cool

NICHOLAS: Very shy and offended easily

MOM: WHAT WERE YOUR KIDS LIKE WHEN YOUNGER?
Brody: Uncontrollable  monkey

Caleb: Full time smiler

Jacob: Chunky monkey full of laughs

Nicky: Smarty with dimples

6. How old is your mom?

BRODY:56,46,45,36,26 (I decided to cut him off at 26)
CALEB: 36

JACOB: 35

NICHOLAS: 36

MOM I WILL SKIP THIS

7. How tall is your mom?

BRODY: 180 inches
CALEB: 5 feet
JACOB: 5'9''
NICHOLAS: 5'7'  

MOM: HOW TALL ARE YOUR KIDS?

Brody; 48 inches
Caleb: 52 inches

Jacob: 60  inches

Nicky: 62 inches

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

BRODY: Drink soda
CALEB: Hang out with me and my brothers
JACOB: Go to a fast food restaurant
NICHOLAS: Laugh with us

MOM: WHAT ARE THERE FAVORITE THINGS TO DO?

Brody: Play with his friends

Caleb: Play video games

Jacob: Make people laugh

Nicholas: Talk

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

BRODY:Watches TV

CALEB: Sits down
JACOB: Buys herself new shoes
NICHOLAS: Laundry  

MOM: WHAT DO YOUR KIDS DO WHEN  YOU ARE NOT AROUND?

Brody: Sneaky stuff

Caleb:  Play video games

Jacob: Make Hockey and silly videos

Nicky: Look at my Victorias Secret catalog

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

BRODY: Doctor
CALEB: Being Beautiful (Give that boy a trophy)
JACOB: Singing (Bless his heart)
NICHOLAS: Making Dinner

MOM: IF YOUR KIDS WERE FAMOUS WHAT WOULD IT BE FOR:

Brody: Dirtiest fingernails

Caleb: Smiling the longest

Jacob: a Big time You Tuber

Nicholas: NHL

11.What is your mom really good at?

BRODY: Making Food
CALEB: Crafts
JACOB: Cooking
NICHOLAS: Cooking

MOM: WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS REALLY GOOD AT?

Brody: Getting himself ready

Caleb: Black Ops

Jacob: Making others laugh

Nicholas: Getting info out of me

12. What is your mom not very good at?

BRODY: Taking teeth out
CALEB: Nothing
JACOB: Playing Video games
NICHOLAS: Lying

MOM: WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS NOT VERY GOOD AT?

All of them: Lying!

13. What does your mom do for a job?

BRODY: Stays at home to watch the kids
CALEB: Home Mom
JACOB: Stay at home mom
NICHOLAS: Stays at home

MOM: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR KIDS WILL BE WHEN THEY GROW UP:

Brody: Teacher

Caleb: Soldier

Jacob: Video game maker

Nicholas: Firefighter

14.What is your mom's favorite food?

BRODY: Chips and Salsa
CALEB: Salad
JACOB: Pasta

NICHOLAS: Asian Chicken Salad (smart kid)

MOM: WHAT ARE YOUR KIDS FAVORITE FOOD:

Brody: Danimals

Caleb: Steak

Jacob: Chicken Tenders

Nicholas: Pasta and Z-bars

15.What makes you proud of your mom?

BRODY: When she stares at me
CALEB: She always makes me laugh
JACOB: That she's a mom
NICHOLAS: That she can handle 4 boys everyday

MOM: WHAT MAKES YOUR PROUD OF YOUR KIDS

Brody: He treats everyone as if they are his family

Caleb: He knows how to love deep

Jacob: How big his heart is

Nicholas: How he wants to know and be involved in peoples lives good and bad ;)

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?

BRODY: Rockstar

CALEB: Minnie Mouse

JACOB: Minnie Mouse
NICHOLAS: Super Woman

MOM: IF YOUR KIDS WERE A CHARACTER WOULD THEY BE

Brody: Spiderman

Caleb: Mickey Mouse

Jacob: Fred

Nicholas: Axle (The Middle)

17. What do you and your mom do together?

BRODY: Go shopping; Get ice cream
CALEB: Hangout
JACOB: Go out to eat
NICHOLAS: Talk; gossip 

MOM: WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR KIDS DO TOGETHER?

Brody: Get ice cream

Caleb: Homework and giggle

Jacob: Watch scary movies

Nicky: Watch Chicago Fire and PD

18. How are you and your mom the same?

BRODY: We are in the same family
CALEB: We both love our family
JACOB: Both are human
NICHOLAS: We like to express what we are feeling to each other

MOM: HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR KIDS THE SAME:

Brody: Eyes, and Shy

Caleb: We laugh even when it isn't funny

Jacob: Gets upset easily

Nicholas: Everything

19. How are you and your mom different?

BRODY: Boy/girl
CALEB: She's a girl I'm a boy
JACOB: Boy/girl
NICHOLAS: She does't know how to stick up for herself and I do (OH KAY thank you)

MOM: HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR KIDS DIFFERENT

Brody: Patience levels

Caleb: He is more happy

Jacob: He is popular 

Nicholas: hmmmm

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

BRODY: Cause I know it. She loves me. She takes care of me
CALEB: She always smiles
JACOB: She tells me I love you at night
NICHOLAS: When I am faking sleep and I over har her saying she loves us  (Heart Strings)

MOM: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR KIDS LOVE YOU

All of them tell me all the time <3 p="">

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
BRODY:He works for us
CALEB: He gets us money (yikes)
JACOB: Everything
NICHOLAS: He puts others lives first

MOM: WHAT DO YOUR KIDS LIKE MOST ABOUT THERE DAD

Brody: He picks him up still

Caleb: He takes him fun places

Jacob: He is always there for presentations, hockey, games and he is his number one supporter 

Nicky: That he has a cool job and takes care of all of us

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? 

BRODY:Nail place, and Disneyland
CALEB: Red Robin
JACOB: Disneyland
NICHOLAS: Pick up kids from school 

MOM: WHERE IS YOUR KIDS FAVORITE PLACE TO GO?

Brody: Disneyland

Caleb: Magic Mountain

Jacob: Red Robin

Nicholas: Anywhere on vacation

23. How old was your Mom when you were born? 

BRODY: 26CALEB: 26
JACOB: 23
NICHOLAS: 22 (correct)

MOM: HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOUR KIDS WERE BORN:

Brody: 29

Caleb:26

Jacob:24

Nicholas:22

And had to add this pic of Brody  I took after our Q and A Session last night......

                                                                  

Brody funnys...

Before I start on in on Brody. Let me just say how my morning started. Not too bad actually.  Woke up to little sleep do a stupid head cold (No biggie).  Got high blood pressure from yanking Brody out of bed because he wouldnt get up ( once again no biggie, just the usual). Came downstairs all went pretty smooth (not the usual). I was tóo sick to fight and deal so we just didn''t rush and guess what they all made it to school on time ( not early how I like and usually stress about, but before the bell rang) Wow, nice.
So back home take some DayQuil and an unstuff my head and face pill. And coffee time! Because going back to bed is not happening people. YAY COFFEE GET IN MY MOUTH!! took out the huge gallon of milk and poured it right into my perfect cup of black coffee. SHIT! that was not creamer. As if a huge gallon of milk looks just like a little creamer bottle (meds have not kicked in yet). I hate milk in coffee it is something that is just bleck to me, and even though milk does a body good by chasing out everything inside of mine. I was not down for that today. Coffee #2! did not make that mistake again because I put the creamer in first this time. Brilliant ( I know). And here it is...

Onto Brody, The Boy of  Creative Mischief. Eh or just  Crazy Brody. This kid can make you shake your head and at the same time surprise you. I have daily events of him. My neighbors can vouch for most of everything. I feel like they get him more than I sometimes. 

So the other day I came home to Brody and daddy on the front porch. Brody came running up to my car to tell me about a birthday party he was "supposedly" invited to for that night. Mondo I kept telling him  that there was no invitation or email. I reminded him  I could not just contact a parent or take him to a party just because  he knew the info. I could not just do that. I know how kids in 1st grade are (mine are guilty as well). "Hey you can come to my party at this time its here and blah blah blah".  Nicky even goes we all did that mom LOL!!  I know this and that is why I am not budging on this.  Let me just tell you Brody manipulates this family with his charm and being the :baby: ALL THE TIME.  As bad as I felt when he was crying (not budging). Mind you if any of my other boys came to me with this, I would be like no invite, no party END OF STORY. But Brody knows how to work it. Well we put our foot down.  Next thing I know he has an index card and a pen behind his back and goes running into another room. Ok good! His mind is off of that party nonsense!  Well about 5 minutes later he throws this index card at Mondo and I and says "here this is from the mom".  

Here is the index card.........

If you cant read it.....

CARSON
STARTS AT
4:00 to 6:00

TO SKY HIGH SPORTS

INVITED

Well I am sure you can guess what happened next? Rolling on the floor laughing. Even Brody! And no he did not go to the party and he survived just fine ;)  LOL!

Then there is this morning. I was making his lunch and I opened up a box of letter cookies.  he says " I only want my name letters"  I was like "sorry bud that will take too long""Then he gives that ugh sad face. yeah guess who won that? 

Took about 5 minutes....

It just SUCKS...

I just want to thank you rain for today . It is perfect time for you to come as we all grieve on the passing of Ian, Thank you rain for the reminder and the comfort to grieve to day and reflect on and let go of all the pain, sadness and anger. And continue on with the life of family we have here with us that we need to count on and make count in each others lives.  My immediate family is small but very strong through everything. We can hate each other at times but we all still love each other deeply.  No matter what we all know we share the same hurt and pain and can accept the fact that love is all that keeps us together no matter what.

Oh the pain. As I reflect on mine... It is so terrible and so awful...yes.. But through it all life goes on. I get that.. but damn the past 10 years cancer has won 6-0 to people too damn close to me. Family I had in my life to look up to to take care of me, and have shown me so much love, wisdom, care, and there is a piece of each one that I have in who I am and choices I do or how I react or decisions I make. They were all my teachers in life at some point in my life.  And they will always be that still.

My mom (passed 10 years ago), Geri ( my sisters Mother in Law passed  8 years ago)  Dave ( My Brother in Law passed  1 year ago) Celeste ( My Godmother who passed 6 months ago) and now Ian ( My sisters Father in Law passed a day ago) UGH!  My sister says it best and it has become our go to motto.. It just SUCKS!

Damn, Damn, Damn where do I start? Ian, Frederickson, Trouble, Brat, Fred, E, Papa. The man of a million names. The man with the biggest heart and biggest personality. Super headstrong. Most friendliest. Most grumpy. Who he was to me was the most loving man I have ever met. Always welcomed you with a kiss and a hug which you just don''t get from everyone anymore. And he may have never known it, but man the warmth and love would always be so strong with those hugs and kisses. I could feel it before I even stepped inside to see him or before he stepped inside to see me. I only wish I could make people have that much love be felt.  So natural and so strong.  It is something I have always felt with him since I was 8 years old. Such a great man, Such a wonderful family. Ian and Geri were the sweetest most amazing couple I have ever met. I just don't think anyone could be that wonderful and them to take in our family as one of theirs when my sister first started dating Dave. Just beautiful. Now Ian is resting in peace with his only son and the love of his life. There is comfort there, but it is still too damn soon for all of them!

The comfort is there but the pain is here. Yes I am a firm believer to move on and continue on because you have to. Life is still there to live for those left with the pain. But I can't help but hurt and feel for my sister and my nephews.  They have just been hit like a semi with this Bullshit and it isn't fair.  And there is no damn control! I wish I could just take away there pain and just put on me. I have my pain and loss and anger emotions for my own self but the pain of thinking how much worse is theirs, is the pain I have a hard time dealing with  The wound from losing there Grandma 8 years ago healing from that. Then losing there father 1 year ago, and that wound that is just so fresh and so unhealed, boom ripped right open with there grandfather passing now. My poor sister who is strong and brave but left with all this pain and doing this all on her own.  So strong. I could never imagine being in her situation, and just be being put into it over and over.  She is amazing though she is so strong so brave, and those boys have been just that too. My heart aches for me and my family and losing another. But my heart is weakened and breaking for them. I know time doesn't heal it all but it does help move on and keep things for all of them and us going and we will all survive this because we will all make the most of our lives as we continue to do. 

We don''t know what will happen between today and tomorrow to us, our family, or our friends or neighbors.  I have lived it and I know it. Life is way too short. We need to live now and be here now and move on, love on, and be there and remember and hold deep in our hearts how much we have learned from these amazing people we are all losing too soon. Because as much as I hold there love still and there teachings. It is just a memory, and I would much rather have them here still to this day. Love each other. Love others, and continue to remember the good and try to move on from the pain and the sadness cause that is not what they were to me.

I am now just blabbing away. I could probably use more sleep and my brain is a little over stimulated with all of it. But I feel better just talking to myself already LOL! :)

Love you E! and thank you! Thank you for being so wonderful to me, and being my little jokester. There is no one like you and you are so so so loved, and missed, and you will live on through Liam and Conor. Ian and I both shared a love for puzzles. When I end up from now on with that last missing piece I definitely know who will be hiding it. Bye Ian. As your final words that were spoken to me when you were in so much pain still forcing a smile and speaking to me will be my words to you...

....Love You...